To add to the complications of life, I began night classes today. It's Monday and Wednesday, 5-7 PM. Then add in about 3-4 hours of homework and an hour of travel. Now, if you aren't aware of why I am still in school, I assure you it is not because I am finishing up my doctoral thesis. I am still working on my Bachelor's degree. Eight years and I am almost done.
The reality is that I have always been a worker. I tried the full-time student thing while my wife worked, which made sense up until she had our son. Bills were to high, we were going to lose her insurance, etc. Plus I am one of the many sad people who have the habit of treating fake "free" money like it's really free, and so wasn't always being judicious in its use. I also blame that last part on the foibles of youth. So here I am, going part time, including some evening classes, hoping to finish up in April or June of 2012.
The hardest part for me is that my desire to remain is minimal. I have a full time enjoyable career with people I love working with. My degree, Ancient Near Eastern Studies with a Hebrew focus, is very cool (how amny of you can read the Old Testament in Hebrew, eh?) and yet it has absolutely no relevance to the business world (though I have some book ideas...). I have a wife and a kid, I own a home, and taking even a single class is draining on my already limited schedule. And that was before I dedicated myself to writing.
So the temptation arises to drop something to free up my schedule. But what would I drop? I can't drop work. I would certainly never in eternity decide to stop being a husband and father to the world's greatest family. Do I drop school? The thought has certainly occurred to me multiple times, and it definitely creates tension at work when I can't take calls with clients while in class. But I am less than ten credits away, only a maximum of eleven months from finishing. After eight years, I am definitely not stopping now, even if it has zero meaning other than to say "I finished the race, I have fought the good fight." Writing? Never.
So it leaves me with only one option left: find ways to become more than I am. It means better time management. It means making the most of my time with my family. It means really being a rockstar at work so that when problems arise over the interference of school, I am too invaluable to be forced into making a deathly either/or choice. And it means possibly even later nights.
The good news? I can keep telling myself "Just one more year, one more year". It's much better than before at "just three more years" or anything of that ilk. And then I am done. Unless of course I decide to get an MBA, which I might. Or a Law degree, which I would never do, but is amusing to think about. Maybe a literary degree? Hmm... probably not. I'll already have a degree with little market value!
So we press on. All of us. Each day. We keep moving forward, knowing that if we stop for a breather on the escalator of life, we will move backwards and down without even trying. And we learn to be more.
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